Monday, 8:31am.
I just got off the scales. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? A number that is less than expected, that's what! Am I happy? With the number, yes. With my frame of mind? No. Why, then, all the doom and gloom. Well, sit right back and I'll tell you a tale.
I work the afternoon shift, 3pm-11pm, and if there isn't enough people working that night on mids, like due to a sick call, then one of the 3-11 people, like myself, gets mandated to stay for 4 hours. Yes, 4. That's better than some centers who mandate for 8. But anyway, there was a sick call, and I get held Saturday night.
I made it through the dinner hour on my regular shift, eating my 1 cup of refried bean chili (oh it's yummy!), fruits and veggies. I even had 32 ounces of water. But before all that happened, I rode Saturday morning for 2 hours. Thirty-one miles! My best so far. So, I go to work, then the sick call came in. "Is it my hold?" I asked. "Yep, sure is." my supervisor snappily replied. Dejected, I tried to turn it into a positive thing. I thought "Oh well, it's four hours of overtime. We could use the extra cash".
It was just me, my supervisor, who had already signed up for the other open slot of overtime prior to the sick call.Then the question came from the lone midnight shift person around 11:05PM: "You guys hungry?" I shook my head trying to ignore this tempting question that I knew would come up. My suprevisor and I had a discussion regarding this very question and what our response would be. She said she would get something. I said maybe.
"Ill get something if you're going, but something small, I already ate".
Yeah right.Small.I know my track record. And I was hungry.
"How about Taco Bell?" I meekly said. I was greeted with "How about real Mexican food?" I said sure, wrote down my order, handed him my debit card and went back to dreaming of my Specialized Allez or Secteur while my heavenly junk food was being ordered and prepared for my consumption. Heck, I am even thinking of going back to the Trek route.
Oh boy. The food arrived.
Steak? I ordered ground beef. That's OK, Ill eat it. Ugh. This grease is like pooling in the foil wrapper. Oh. Why did I eat that burrito? Why? Oh I'm so miserable, ugh. Shoot me now! PLEASE! I don't want to do this! Why did I eat this? I've blown all I worked for! I see a 5 pound weight gain coming on! I cant handle this! Maybe I can purge it(These were the thoughts in my head. Though I didnt purge, I know the implications if this starts to become more of an issue).
I cant wait to get home and go to bed.
And so I did. By 3:45 am, I was sound asleep. Burrito and all. Sweet (burrrrrp) dreams. Oooff....
I awoke around 10am, due to the fullness of my bladder. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom, the thought hit me like a frying pan in the face. I ate that burrito. I ruined everything. Well, that set me off on the wrong foot. I was now in a crabby mood.
I felt bad for my family. They were feeling the effects of my poor decision. That wasn't fair to them. And to top it all off, Sunday was my daughter's final 2 holiday concert performances, and we were headed out to the 2pm show. I needed to change.
Now it's Monday, and after a lengthy pep talk from the Mrs last night before turning in, I realized that it was a mistake. I need to forgive myself and move along. But I think what is really helping me deal with that more today is the number on the scale:
212.5.
Not 217. Not 215. Two-hundred and twelve point five! Seeing that number helped me to realize that I was worrying for nothing. Sort of that swipe your forehead and say 'Whew". Or look into the mirror and say 'See? You worried for nothing".
Will I do it again? Yes. Will I feel the same? That's unknown. But I now know how I felt. I know how it will affect me. I also know, I dont want to do it again.
As far as the pep talk went, we decided that I am concentrating too hard on this. The weigth will come off. That is a given. It's how I am going to ride that will need the tweaking.
And that, is fodder for another entry.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
So here is a snapshot. Here is a glimpse of what used to be. Here is looking at you, kid.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Big Ride
Today is the day. A scheduled two hour ride. This is part of the "Big Weight Loss" plan in Ride Your Way Lean book. Its been a great plan so far, only a week in. But, I'm having some discomfort issues on the bike. Going to speak with the LBS to see if they have any clues/ideas as to what the heck is going on.
Maybe a basic fitting is in order? Maybe its because the bike is on the trainer; not being able to stand up, move the bike around when pedalling. That sorta stuff.
Email has been sent, so we will see what they have to say. In the mean time, I'm here at work waiting.
Patiently.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
The Obsession
I get home from a long day at the office and plop myself on the couch. My wife is sitting in her chair crocheting. She glanes over at me. " You havent ridden for awhile. Are you not training anymore?" she asks. I scratch my head. "No, not with (so in so) plan. Im plannin on the (whats so ma-call it) plan for weight loss". She stops making her scarf, lays it on her lap and looks at ma again. "Well, dont you think anytime on the bike is better than no tiome at all?" She is right. I hop up, go change into my shorts and run out to the garage.
While riding, Im thinking of my savings account, the bike I have my eye on, and if I will make it thru this 2013 on this "clunker". But then I change my last thought. This isnt a clunker. It has been the tool inwhich the spark of reimagination has taken place. It's the step. It's the assistant. It's what I am...for now. This bike has taken me to a level I never thought would be possible. I have accomplished so much on this bike, I have a bond with this bike. I know this bike's quirks. I can tell when something isnt right and when something is about to happen. It's and extension of me.
When did this all start? Back in high school, in the early to mid '80's, I went to a local bike shop, or LBS to get knew grips for the home built bike I was riding. It was a Murray 10spd that I received as a present. Like always, though, I customized it. Painted it from baby blue to a deep red, almost a maroon. I hand painted some gold graphics in it using Testors model paint. I thought it was cool. The rear wheel was an old Columbia 3-speed wheel from my dad's bike. The gear selector was a center hub mounted one thet was pulled outward to move to gears 2 and 3. Since that cable was broken, it was stuck in 3rd. The hardest gear. I had no way of changing it.
Anyway, back to the bike shop. While I was there, the salesman was nice and asked if I wanted to join one of their club rides, which was 15 miles. I said sure, and while I was there, I got a pair of bike shorts(real leather chamois mind you) and a pair of RoadGear crocheted gloves. I felt like I was almost a pro now. All i needed was an open road.
Road riding was going to be a success to me. I rode BMX in elementary school where Bob Haro, PK Ripper, RedLine and all were the stars and bikes. The only problem was, I was araid of crashing. And I crashed alot. And to be able to do all the cool stuff, table tops, etc, you need a light bike, like a Mongoose. Yeah, Mongoose was a premire bike then too. Only available at your LBS for a ton of money! That wasnt happening. I failed miserably, I thought.
Now, or back then, I was used to riding on the street. I didnt have a car. I rode everywhere. To my girlfriends house, almost everyday, which was 6 miles rouond trip. I even rode in the snow. On my Murray. One gear.
Fast forward 4 years. Bike: Fuji Pulsar roadbike. Very nice. The bike wasnt ridden as much as I would like to have ridden it. What, with me being an "adult" and all. Out of high school, trying to decide what I want to do in life. Dating, marriage, you know, life. I ended up selling the Fuji for a lot less than what I paid for it. I didnt know what I had. I was still wet behind the ears.
I briefly got back into bike riding back in the early part of my dispatching career, after '95. A fellow coworker was a big cyclist and introduced me to Lance Armstrong and RAGBRAI. She had done RAGBRAI once before, and was getting me psyched as well to get back into riding. I didnt take it seriously.
Then, on a sunny summer afternoon in 2009, towards the end of a day hitting the local garage sales, I happened across a Trek 7000 mountain bike. Seeing the label, I knew it was a good brand. Why, I really dont remember, but now that I think back, that was the brand Lance rode. I had $20 in my pocket, I asked the owner how much, he said $30. I pulled my hand out, and showed him the money. He smiled and took it. I loaded the bike, and home I went.
After a couple of years of figureing out what a Presta Valve was, and what it wasnt, I finally decided to get the bike running the way I wanted to. I rode the bike during the Le Tour Challenge from MapMyRide with the mountia tires, and realized that they were creating alot of drag. So I took the mountian bike tires off, got some new road tires, and away I went. The rest, as they say, is history.
Now, you may say this isnt really an obsession. I am only obsessed with the things. I can honestly say, as a kid who couldnt run very fast, who was afraid to play football, who kept backing out of the batters box and was ridiculed because of my weight, this is the only thing, ONLY thing, I can succeed at that is remotely physical. And since hills killed me when I was a kid (because I wasnt properly shown how to tackle a hill), I plan on making them a joyous part of my cycling hobby.
Bring it!
While riding, Im thinking of my savings account, the bike I have my eye on, and if I will make it thru this 2013 on this "clunker". But then I change my last thought. This isnt a clunker. It has been the tool inwhich the spark of reimagination has taken place. It's the step. It's the assistant. It's what I am...for now. This bike has taken me to a level I never thought would be possible. I have accomplished so much on this bike, I have a bond with this bike. I know this bike's quirks. I can tell when something isnt right and when something is about to happen. It's and extension of me.When did this all start? Back in high school, in the early to mid '80's, I went to a local bike shop, or LBS to get knew grips for the home built bike I was riding. It was a Murray 10spd that I received as a present. Like always, though, I customized it. Painted it from baby blue to a deep red, almost a maroon. I hand painted some gold graphics in it using Testors model paint. I thought it was cool. The rear wheel was an old Columbia 3-speed wheel from my dad's bike. The gear selector was a center hub mounted one thet was pulled outward to move to gears 2 and 3. Since that cable was broken, it was stuck in 3rd. The hardest gear. I had no way of changing it.
Anyway, back to the bike shop. While I was there, the salesman was nice and asked if I wanted to join one of their club rides, which was 15 miles. I said sure, and while I was there, I got a pair of bike shorts(real leather chamois mind you) and a pair of RoadGear crocheted gloves. I felt like I was almost a pro now. All i needed was an open road.
Road riding was going to be a success to me. I rode BMX in elementary school where Bob Haro, PK Ripper, RedLine and all were the stars and bikes. The only problem was, I was araid of crashing. And I crashed alot. And to be able to do all the cool stuff, table tops, etc, you need a light bike, like a Mongoose. Yeah, Mongoose was a premire bike then too. Only available at your LBS for a ton of money! That wasnt happening. I failed miserably, I thought.
Now, or back then, I was used to riding on the street. I didnt have a car. I rode everywhere. To my girlfriends house, almost everyday, which was 6 miles rouond trip. I even rode in the snow. On my Murray. One gear.
I briefly got back into bike riding back in the early part of my dispatching career, after '95. A fellow coworker was a big cyclist and introduced me to Lance Armstrong and RAGBRAI. She had done RAGBRAI once before, and was getting me psyched as well to get back into riding. I didnt take it seriously.
Then, on a sunny summer afternoon in 2009, towards the end of a day hitting the local garage sales, I happened across a Trek 7000 mountain bike. Seeing the label, I knew it was a good brand. Why, I really dont remember, but now that I think back, that was the brand Lance rode. I had $20 in my pocket, I asked the owner how much, he said $30. I pulled my hand out, and showed him the money. He smiled and took it. I loaded the bike, and home I went.
After a couple of years of figureing out what a Presta Valve was, and what it wasnt, I finally decided to get the bike running the way I wanted to. I rode the bike during the Le Tour Challenge from MapMyRide with the mountia tires, and realized that they were creating alot of drag. So I took the mountian bike tires off, got some new road tires, and away I went. The rest, as they say, is history.
Now, you may say this isnt really an obsession. I am only obsessed with the things. I can honestly say, as a kid who couldnt run very fast, who was afraid to play football, who kept backing out of the batters box and was ridiculed because of my weight, this is the only thing, ONLY thing, I can succeed at that is remotely physical. And since hills killed me when I was a kid (because I wasnt properly shown how to tackle a hill), I plan on making them a joyous part of my cycling hobby.
Bring it!
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